When we think of managing conflict, our attention immediately turns to the different conflict styles, acquiring assertive expression, or improving one’s interpersonal skills such as heightening the art of diplomacy or persuasion. However, another approach looking at the problem from an inside out perspective can be highly effective and more sustainable in managing conflict in the long term. It’s an approach that explores the understanding and self awareness of self-value.
Relationships are important in managing conflict, but most importantly it’s about the relationship you have with YOURSELF. Honouring yourself and self-respect is the departure point. Since the core of consciousness creation is self-value, you need to know that all it takes is a small shift – a genuine intention to sense your own worthiness in order to ignite the major results that you want in all aspects of your life, not only in managing conflict.
Self esteem is by far the biggest source of dysfunction and unhappiness for people in their personal and professional lives. In that deep down they perceive themselves as inadequate or unworthy. The truth of your internal worth shines beneath the falsehoods that you’ve been taught like a gold mine, waiting to be discovered, your limitless worth lies just below the surface under the dirt, silt and heavy rocks of false beliefs. Your power and truth existed long before the difficult experiences in your life occurred.
The first step to self awareness is mindfulness; that is a conscious awareness of yourself, heart, mind, body and spirit. One of the easiest ways in which to do this is to complete the exercises provided by Professor Richard Boyatzis – head of psychology at Case Western Reserve. The exercises explore one’s personal vision, future vision, legacy you wish to leave behind you, philosophical orientation, your values, defensive mechanisms you use as well as understanding the people who had a great influence on your life. (for a copy of these exercises, kindly email Kiley@iegroup.co.za) . Once you have worked through these exercises and heightened your mindfulness, it leads to hope and with hope alive, it leads to compassion. Compassion is empathy and caring in action. However, you are the departure point. Without self-value/self-regard or self-love, one cannot be compassionate towards anyone.
At the IE Group, we have developed exercises to capture negative or toxic thoughts that we experience daily, consider the healthy alternatives, positively affirm your value and then intentionally make this a reality in your daily experience.
In addition to the Self-regard exercises, we strongly recommend, a daily dose of mind calm to keep you in the present moment. All stress related thoughts are vested in the past or future. By bringing your attention to the present moment, you will be able to find the peace and joy that is your birthright.
For more information or to participate in sessions to assist you with conflict management, kindly email Kiley@iegroup.co.za
The IE Group objective : Create a core of confidence around your authentic empowerment and the personal perception of your self value. Happiness and fulfilling relationships comes from genuine self-love